The Top 5 Worst Dog Parkers

The dog park is a great place to let your dog run wild and burn some energy while you get to stand there and relax. When I am being lazy and not feeling up to a run with my dog but still want to get the psycho out of him I bring him to the dog park.

Now while I love the dog park and watching my pup play with other pups, the dog park is a lot like a supervised summer camp. All us dog moms and dog dads are watching our little fur babies socialize and sometimes even watch them get picked on by our people’s fur babies. Tension sometimes runs high when certain dogs and people are at the dog park.

Here is a list of the top 5 worst dog parkers:

5. The Overly Protective Dog Mom 

Unfortunately this is almost always a woman and she is watching her dog like a HAWK. Do not let your dog go near hers because she will start freaking out. Even if it is the most innocent playing in the world, she is not okay with any dog coming close to hers. She even tries to talk smack with fellow dog parents about other dogs and how aggressive they are for even looking at her little princess. And almost always her dog is a little demon. Beware of this lady.

4. The Slobberer

When your dog comes back up to you after running and wrestling with this dog and you pet him your hand comes back soaking wet. Oh yay- you and your dog are now covered in slobber. This dog has slobber hanging from his or her mouth and refuses to go to the water bowl because they are having way too much fun! Most of the time this dog can’t help it so you can’t get too mad but it still isn’t always pleasant when you have nowhere to wipe your slobbery hand except your pants.

3. The Humper 

This dog simply cannot control their sexual urges and will hump your dog, whether they are male or female, big or small, neutered or not- this dog has no standards. It’s all fun and games until they are aggressively trying to impregnate your sweet little furry baby. Almost always this dog has an owner who just laughs and says “they’ll work it out” and pays it no attention. DO NOT BE THIS DOG OWNER. It is super annoying to everyone else whose dogs are getting violated and it’s your responsibility to control your animal.

2. The Dog Parent Who Pays Absolutely NO Attention to Their Dog

This parent is either walking laps around the park for exercise or they are on their phones not paying attention at all. This is often the parent of the humper (see #3) or of the aggressor (see #1). This person can become very irritating very quickly when their dog is wreaking havoc and they don’t even realize it because they are not paying any attention whatsoever. If their dog is aggressively attacking your dog do not wait for this parent to come control their dog because they won’t even notice. But as soon as they do (20 minutes later) they will act like they had a grip on the situation the whole time and try to paint you out to be a overly protective dog mom (see #5).

1. The Aggressor 

This dog comes into the park and dogs and their dog parents alike think “oh no”. The aggressor gets every other dog all riled up until they become like a pack of wild wolves. This dog will find a submissive dog (aka my dog) and knock them onto their backs for no reason other than to show dominance. Whether this stems from their owner not establishing dominance over their dog or from not socializing the dog at an early enough age, this dog needs to be put into obedience school. And fast.

However annoying these people and dogs can be, most of the time the dog park has a great group of playful dogs and a group of people who are easy to chat with because you immediately have something in common. People can talk about their dog for days- I know I can!

This is my dog in a mud pit at a dog park in Clemson… I almost cried



2 thoughts on “The Top 5 Worst Dog Parkers

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  1. As the owner of a slobberer you can routinely find me chasing after someone else’s dog to try to dry them (while also drying my hounds muss) and yelling. ‘I’m so sorry. I really am!’


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